In September 2017, I started a 3 year BSc Psychology course at Royal Holloway University. No matter how hard I tried to persevere, my mental health deteriorated while there and I couldn't establish myself. I met some amazing people and learnt so much from my time there, but ultimately it was not for me. After everything I tried, I realised that this was not what I was meant to be doing and I dropped out of the course in Easter.
I'm now preparing to go back to University, studying BSc Animal Behavioural Science at Greenwich University. I couldn't be more excited to be starting fresh and studying something I'm passionate about, but I won't forget the lessons I learnt from my previous time a uni.
Like me, a lot of people's big trips to university are starting soon, so I thought that I could offer some advise from my past experience. Here are my 6 most important tips for when you're preparing to go.
1) Not all your closest friends will be people you meet in the first couple of weeks. It takes time.
There is this big expectation that you will meet your best friends when you're at university, and that you will meet them straight away. In reality, you're all strangers and it takes time to get to know people. You are all in the same boat though, all new and nervous and wanting to make friends. It really is nerve-racking to open yourself up to new people. Suddenly you're in this situation where you're living with strangers, away from home and there's this big expectation to make best friends during freshers. Being completely honest, I didn't really get along with my initial housemates and it took me a few weeks before I found people that I could go out with. I ended up moving in with them and that did make my time there better.
It takes time to form good friends. Don't feel despondent if you don't click with people to start with. I had a friend in their 2nd year while I was there, and she met her friends (she was living with) at the end of her first year. She didn't meet them in her flat or on her course, she bumped into one in the student union and the other was in the laundry room. Everybody's experience is different, and you can't go in with any expectations of what it will be like, because ultimately your expectations won't match reality.
I was lucky when I was at school, I had an amazing group of friends and 4 best girlfriends that I have been friends with for years. Going to uni was difficult. Being away from them and all that support was hard. But you have to put yourself out there and trust that eventually it will all fall into place.(Even if that means you leave the university like I did lol)
2) You don't need to pack everything.
Stupidly I managed to persuade myself that I needed to take everything from my room, all my clothes, coats and shoes, and everything else that I deemed 'necessary'. This then left me with a shit tonne of boxes shoved around my family in the car and more stuff than could comfortably fit in my Uni room. Although I'm not staying in halls next year (I'll be commuting from home), if i were doing it again, TAKE ONLY THE STUFF YOU NEED FOR THAT TERM.
Take enough stuff to make the room homely and comfortable for you, but clothes wise you need winter clothes for the winter term and then swap them for the warmer months clothes.
It will save you so much space and time when unpacking and avoids clutter.
I promise, if you do take everything, you will not use it all. I'm pretty sure the majority of the stuff I took came back covered in dust, because all I really wore was sweat pants and pyjamas.
I promise, if you do take everything, you will not use it all. I'm pretty sure the majority of the stuff I took came back covered in dust, because all I really wore was sweat pants and pyjamas.
(P.S: If you haven't got a dressing gown, get one now. I swear it will save you when there's a midnight fire alarm! Plus when you feel shit, hungover and tired its like a warm snuggely hug. best thing I've ever brought).
3) Plan. plan. plan. A routine will be your saviour.
Having a constant reassuring plan for your days will reduce anxiety and help make sure that you have things to look forward to. You need structure in order to settle in and make this your new life. Join societies and clubs, not just because they are great ways to meet people, but they keep you active and give you that plan for your week. Lectures, nights out and society/club evenings and training. These things bring that routine to your uni life and maintain your mood through the week.
Consistency is key!
4) Take breaks and learn when to say no.
There is no doubt that you will end up getting Freshers Flu. You will be run down, snotty, ill and grumpy. Yet you will still be expected to go out, drink and meet people. I understand when you're ill all you want to do is sleep all day and the thought of going out is the furthest thing from your mind. As much as I'd like to recommend that if you have freshers flu then don't go out drinking, but I know that that isn't going to happen. There is an underlying pressure to not miss out on anything, so you push your body and do all that you can. Although you reduce that anxiety of FOMO, you will prolong that shitty-run down-cold-flu feeling.
It's normal to want to have the most fun you possibly can, and give yourself the best opportunities to make friends, but every so often it is okay to miss a night out. It's okay to spend half an hour doing something relaxing, or something that you love. You need time for yourself in order to properly rest and function. You will not be missing out if you take one or two evenings to yourself. Drink water, eat good food and rest when you can. Your health and mental health are important (more important than a last minute late night drinking) and to properly help yourself you need to learn when to say no.
Going out and getting drunk is part of freshers, and the flu will go eventually. Just make sure you give yourself the right amount of rest and recovery time.
(Also Lemsip Max is your new best friend and buy more tissues than you think you need- I got through 5 loo rolls).
5) Everyone's experience is different and it will all work out in the end.
I spoke earlier about expectations, and it is difficult to go to university without some expectations about what you want the experience to be like. However, the thing that I found difficult was that a lot of the time university didn't live up to what I hoped it would be.
The thing that I learnt was the expectations I had were guidelines, and you have to adjust these when you are there. It's understandable that you will want your time there to go a certain way. You've seen other people do it all before and you'll want to make the most of it all. You just have to manage those expectations because otherwise you will be left disappointed with the reality.
Everyone has different experiences at university. There is no one way for it to go. Just know that if things aren't going right to start with, it will all settle in the end. You can only do so much and it is difficult, but in the end everything will work out right for you!
6)You will only see people's good bits- nobody tends to post the sad and the mundane.
When you think about university, you often don't realise that it is painfully boring a lot of the time. People are all shut in there rooms for the majority of the day, work will leave you cramming in the library till 5 am and there isn't always a lot to do. You don't see that it isn't a whole lively party all the time. People will only post the good bits. You don't see the home-sickness and the boredom of not having anything to do all the time. The most sociable hours in the flat are when everyone is bustling and fighting for space in the oven to cook their dinners.
It's easy to compare your experience with other peoples, but even if someone looks like they're having the time of their life, they may not be. Everyone is different and if you feel like aspects of uni are shit, chances are everyone else feels the same.
That's it from me.
I hope that everyone going to university takes these points into consideration and I hope you all have lovely times. It's not all doom and gloom. It is fun and fresh, the first time you get to be an independent functioning adult (somewhat). So enjoy it and take every opportunity you get, just be kind to yourself as well!
No comments
Post a Comment